kupasan memori

kmrn tanggal sekian doi ultah.hri2 sblmnya gue g ngeh klo bsok dia ultah.toh juga klo gue ingt gue jg g bkal mpe bkin alarm buat ngucapin dia si..cma,, gue tb2 aja hri itu  buka path,yg nongol prtma postingnya dia yg bilang kea smcam thaanks for todaay intinya ttng ultahnya dia..trs gue bru ingt deh.hri itu tnggal 'itu'
yauda gue sbgai tmn mngucapkan dpath,ikutan komen biasa..cmn gtau,,gue g ampe stu doang.
aku chat dia dbbm.intinya sama cuman ngucapin doang.cmn gtau berlanjut kita ada ngbrol tp g bgtu lama.
cuman jdi kea kbesit of old memories with him. but that was short okay.maybe that was sweet. everytime i remember him,i remember her too.cuman gue g bisa ngelak. gue juga nglakuin hal yg salah.rasanya memalukan.tiap gue buka pesan dfb trs ngbca pesan yg prnah aku kirim ksahabatku,like.."what have i done?what was i doin.."tiap ngliat chat lama sma tmn2 ..hahahaa ktawaaa gue.lucu bgt.dr model tulisan gue yg sealay itu,ampe yg dbhas..ttng doi pasti.hahaha apalah.
coba wktu itu aku ga chatingan sama ayak di ym.cb wktu itu aku g ngbahas ini sama ayak di ym.ah meg,,salahin aja orang.kamu jg salahlah meg.seinget aku,emg yah gtau gmna kita mayan sring ol ym,..tp emg masa2 itu masih lmyn sring ol ym.kea bbrpa tmn ol lah.g kea skg.iyalah jaman makin canggih bray.hhaha.nah wktu tu,,yah kita share critalah.wktu itu blm ada staun emg aku ptus sma doi.yah intinya aku crta aku msih ngganjel aja sama smua ini gtu.and at that time.ayak suggested me like "yauda kluarin aja unek2muu meeeggg.tell her i know you really want her to know ." sbangsa itulah.and yea she motivated me to do that.i dont know.i shudnt have done that.i do regret.
i mean.yauda mau dia sma orang lain kek terserah.yg pnting aku udahan dwktu emg udah theres no way out.
mslah aku msih ada rasa,itu urusanku. i shud deal with that feeling myself stupid!
i shudnt have done that.itu text bner2 aku siapin.aku tulis di msword.ouuhh suuck.
and now,everytime i read that messege to her,im like "eeuuwwhh,what the hell is that writing?!who wrote this"
i was mean to her. i wish i knew from the start about their feelin.
hrusnya aku biarin aja.toh im over with him.let it be lah me.deal with your feeling yourseelf!
hes kinda jerk,but  i cant even forget those sweet things,okay? well i guess thats even normal. 
whatever.acggghhhhh...regretttt.kampret.i was that so desperately seekin of suckin love.
who the hell is he?a random guy who has great talent of bein smart.yea he is smart.
i dont care.am i being curshed?am i wrong ever did that to her? sure. like 'have you lost your pride?"
what im tryn to say,,is that..
seriously i didnt mean to be that rude. but yea.honestly i wanted you to know just the points.like,okay i wasnt really finished with him,we havent broken up,but then i didnt know that he made up smthing so that youu then showed up,and yea i cant keep my relationtionship any longer. and i just cant tell you what really is happening between with me and him or even ask you like 'are you really having a relationship with him now?' i cant ask you that. i am just too shocked.im like speechless and dont know what to do and yea,i pretend to be kind(no i am kind) i mean,gue menutupi apa yg sbnrnya gue rasain.i was like being kind to you like ''its reaally okaay dear,you?and him?together?doesnt matter to me,dont bother please...lol''  im so sorry i pretended.i dont know what else i could do.i did stucked up.but then somehow i get in contact with ayak with my heart was still hasnt moved on yet.lol.and yea..that happend. the messege thing.
believe me. i knew what ive done.and that was stupid.hhahaa,,
i was so childish,so immature, alot. 
i wont ever fall into the same hole anymore.ever.im tryin to be mature here.lol.im learning,,
the point is that. i regret saying those to you dear my friend.we even used to be bestfriend thou. and..
yea,,thats all.i shudnt have written that to you.i wasnt rite.i shud have kept that myself.i wish i could rewind those times.
kinda suck huh,,im so sorry..to let you cry.