School?Study?or what?

so,,at last,,till this very last second im writing this,,that im still standing right by my decision bfore..yap! study aborad.

so whats my goal?
a lot. well first.from the very veryy beginning knowing study abroad,cool. i mean i love abroad. i love new situations. and gw suka tantangan.ngmongin soal study abroad,whre is the place that i'll take? i choose german. well at first yea because at least i have my sister there. but actually,"german" itself is already full of reasons why students want to study there. hey who the hell that doesnt know this country??rite?everybody knows it. even the country is like full of brightness,success people..but that doesnt mean that i can also be succed in there.well im not prayin for unsucced me, what im tryin to say is that,,succeed and unsucced its still and will always depens on yourself. right! it depens on me. 
well myself of course, i pray..by my coming to this cool fantastic country, i hope i can be as cool fantastic one too. i will learn NEW things a lot there.its gonna be fun,even if someday in there i found out something bad happends. itu sbuah cobaan. and be sure i can pass thru it cuz all of us know bhwa Tuhan menguji hambanya tdak akan sampai melebihi apa yg hambaNya bisa. and even again i have to face bad things,,Heyy?am i in a real world?this life is normal rite?facing troubles or bad things is also part of life.so its like every one will have that just wait when will it come.and just by the time came.be sure you and i are ready to pass thru the obstacles. otherwise,we'll be loser in the end.and die useless.hha lol what imma talkin about? yea thats some of my words..
actually talking "german" itself that almost makes me wanna quit and stay  here.you see, im afraid talking about religion.really.but hey.moslem must fight and be strong.! okay..gue smpet ada pikiran "okelah,aku sbernya pngen bgt kluar negri.tp aku g hrus ngmbil s1 dluar skg kan?aku bisa s1 dulu dsni and then s2 i can take scholarship to study abroad.rite?fine.thats briliant!" yea itu prnah sliwer di otak gue bberapa kali.  but then i dont know.by time goes on,,people can change their mind.
gue pikir2,,hey.btapa bruntungnya gue dpt bokap yg baik bgt.he used to say this onced"mega,klo kmu mau blajara dluar ato diindo itu trserah mega,mega tau mana yg trbaik bwt mega.mega mau skolah dluar?sama mba ellen?ato bhkan luar ngri beda tmpat sama mba ellen?monggo..ato kmu lanjut kuliah disni ya monggo.cuma gini,,jngan sampe kmu nnti dkmudian hr ada suatu pnyesalan.misal km mlih diindo trs kakakmu lbih sukses dr km 'papa sih dlu g nyekolahin aku dluar.blabla(aku lupa)' pkkoknya tu intinya papaku g mau aku kecewa sama kputusanku sndiri dan klo aku kecewa aku nyalahin papah..maka dr itu ppa ngsi aku pilihan aja.monggoo..." gtu,,
then i think again and again for more then billions time..yap! i choose to study abroad.
well here are some of my history words about studying in german,,
JERMAN??apa??woow? yea it sounds like better shocking. but talking about realigion..well actually may be not his bad cuz we know that there are  lots of moslem there rite?rite...so at first..whats on my mind..
adu serem.itu kan yg ada nazi2nya...uda gtu pas awal2 tuh mbakku sring bgt crta ya ada yg dtriakkin,trs yg serem tu hbis ada apa ya aku lupa.pmbnuhan yg jelas itu cewe brjilbab pas mlm2,,,OMO?ottokhe?:D 
idiii,,gue blm mau mati ye gr2 gw pke jlbab,hahaha...g gtu juga kali meg -__-" trus pokoknya tu aku tkut sama hal2 kea gtu,uda gtu mbakku ada bilang "djerman tu negara trbesar k2 pnganut setannya stalh negara apaa gtu" omooo????"iya meg,dsni tu,ada satu kota yg full of magic.ya jd tu km dtng k kota itu uda kea harry poter aja.sapu bterbangan,dll"  ya mngkin g full of magic tp ya stdaknya brnuansa gtu aja gw uda mrinding. uda gitu mbakku ada crta yg tmennya tu punya pcar,pcarnya tu trnyata pnganut setan gilaakk..tp tmennya mbaku ini kristen tp kristennya kuat gtu jd wktu smpe tmennya mbakku yg kristen ini diajak bwt nymbah setan,tmennya mbaku g mau trs ptus..pantes tmennya mbakku ini klo pas dkt ama cwonya tu brbau,,,bau g enak wes..OMooo???*si pencerita dan yg mendengarkan Pun MerinDaangg(merinding)*
lu tau nazi g siii?ya kata mbak si bnyak nazi tu dtimur,mrka rada gmna gtu sama orng asing.g suka malah,*waddu? tmennya mabkku aja ada prnah dtriakkin pdhal g ngapa2in..tp yg jelas si ya,,mbakku prnah ada bilang juga,,"yg jelas mrka tu sbrnya pngn nglupain bad history mereka.jd untuk suatu mcam hal kau menanyakan nazi2 ato hal brbau germanys historic,,itu adalah suatu hal yg dianggap TAABUUU..*mmo?
ya better not to ask whats already done,,rite?just tryin to see whats your presents take your future will look like?well you may see behind,your past just seconds,just trying to combine now.is it better?much?or much much better?:) 
about lesssons,,hehehe i can see my sister,,she really enjoys her lessons.well may be because she really like it.any way,,i must not be frustrated,,wkwkwk
and,,yea..prgaulan mereka..*wwwiiiii~ i know its not an east culture,,HEllooooww??we are not in asian part.well not even asian part do the same thing like indonesia,hu?hhe,,what im tryin to say is that,.im ready to face bad environment dan gue g akan trlarut bahkan stuck in things like that.:) hey,,im moslemah..you see?im goin to change my style more feminist.hows bout that?sounds interresaant!!!
besides from that all.may be...no,,of course..im gonna find who the reall me?what can i do for the world?no,,hhe,,family, yea what can i do for my family?make em happy?by??by paying all their sweats not by MONEY of course.that'll hurt them,,i'll take care of them,,:) one day. :) 
apart of it..hey..gue muak ya ama hal smacam nyontek or whatever it called.im tired okay ?tired of cheating situations.i wanna be like one of my friends,shes smart,diligent,shell do her best.even their side are cheating.she doesnt.oh myy.....!!!im not a kind of person who born as a dillligent smart baby child teenange,am i?!!
i have a friend,we used to go to the same school when junior high at solo.we used to be a roomate at PORTSAID,wwiuuhh~ i miss that place much.shes very neat.she likes to sweep the floor.i guess thats one of her hobbies.*peaceee* and her accent of surabaya,,sounds funny.hihii.well dia tu bisa dibilang gokil lah.mski gue dlu jg sbnrnya g dket2 amat like bestfriends..but at least we know each other kinda well.then in senior high, i moved back to my city,and ipeh,the one i told,,yea her name is ipeh.her nickname..she went to ausi.study their.and just by few days ago she said that she wanna join me to study in german.even thou she wants paris.but anyway,german is also close to paris.not really far thou? thats what she said. tand i asked her hows in ausi? she told me that she often get bad marks.i dont know that its really bad or what,but one that i like is that.what??she suffered there.she cant cheat.and for years she lives there.at school she never cheat. OH my God!! coollll..sometimes i wanna be like that.a condition where everyone push me not to cheat.well i guess thats an honour,ipeh..youve done the best either.
so..what is it?what i mean is that..what will happend,,if me,,myself,,tries her own best to study with no cheating at all?great!harrrddd??lets see..:D well that doesnt mean that i always cheating okay?you can asks my friends thou? hho..well,that doenst mean like"hey mega,,dont you mean that you'l gonna study abroad just so cant cheat again?doesnt that sound make sense?nnooo!" hey hey,,,its not like that.thats just 1 of billions advantages  i can have if i take this chance to study their rite?
i can learn a lot.my physic teacher onced said "the more far you study,the more far you'll understand life" well this simple sentence has a lot meaning,but think it wisely.when you're far from your parents cuz your own decision, you have to survive whatever fate brings you to..and back to your home and say"IM BACKK!" not as a useless person.no..the far you choose your place to study,well may be the more obstacle you have like may be sometimes you miss your family out there,,but be sure,god loves us and you love your god,,it will be happy in the end,,
and one more,,my english teacher onced said like this "if you have a chance to study abroad.wherever it is.take it. it will be much happier if the place is yea you know what i mean..what?singapore?Leste?brunai?whaatt??malingSIa??hho* yea whatever it is..IF you have a chance,TAkE it..back then you know where life will take you.." well this teacher used to get a scholarship to japan.he studied there.and he learned a lot.i can see how he talks.his memmories about japan.and sometimes when he teaches us a lesson..sometimes he tells a story which always true.more often about politics, i guess this mr. really obsessed in politics.sometimes he also compared indonesia and japan.about any side.the government,traditions,literacy, alot.  and so actually i get broad minded ..:) *Thanks a lot*  


so,,i take my chance.and im ready to fight..no matter how HARd the life is,*lebay*anythhiinggg,,even HOW hard THE LESSON will be,,:D hhehe..just focus one by one..and all will be clear..


appart from it again,,my wise father onced said to me"if you think youre kinda fail in lessons,,be sure youre not fail in your religion.keep praying,pray and pray and have the good behave"